What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
