he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I fill condoms, not promises.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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