found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
