VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
