We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
