Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
