He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
