He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
