honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
