Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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