Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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