your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
