can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize