If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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