There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
