He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
