oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
