I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
