Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
