yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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