wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
