I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
