Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
