Duck Duck Cougar?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
