are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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