I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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