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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I accidentally had phone sex last night

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• (315): View more from New York

  i think i just puked on my phone

  (1-315): View more from New York

  we live great lives

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Glow parties are what I live for

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  Your priorities in life astound me

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (360): View more from Washington

  first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  It was great. He never spoke.

  (613): View more from Ontario

  That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid

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