idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot