Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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