considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
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last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
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It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor