At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING