Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.

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  (513): Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times. http://tfl.nu/rlhm
  Replies (21) Good night (620) Bad night (4215)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out

  (440): View more from Ohio

  seek help.

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  (216): I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out (440): seek help. http://tfl.nu/dyh0
  Replies (24) Good night (5108) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high

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  (321): my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high http://tfl.nu/1lyw
  Replies (24) Good night (4875) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?

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  (214): did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night? http://tfl.nu/w8rd
  Replies (9) Good night (3851) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm

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  (312): I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm http://tfl.nu/hl7i
  Replies (37) Good night (9164) Bad night (1637)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out

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  (413): my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out http://tfl.nu/0mnv
  Replies (13) Good night (8697) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  organizing the empties. That sober.

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  (508): organizing the empties. That sober. http://tfl.nu/fz1p
  Replies (9) Good night (829) Bad night (2929)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?

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  (318): Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it? http://tfl.nu/nm01
  Replies (2) Good night (2356) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.

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  (913): I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms. (1-913): So you know, I'm making that my facebook status. http://tfl.nu/4s8l
  Replies (24) Good night (7800) Bad night (1212)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo

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  (514): Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo http://tfl.nu/7ynr
  Replies (8) Good night (1726) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.

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  (503): We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty. http://tfl.nu/32wc
  Replies (9) Good night (696) Bad night (1425)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.

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  (469): Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked. http://tfl.nu/5hhs
  Replies (8) Good night (1372) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.

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  (818): My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place. http://tfl.nu/mphg
  Replies (10) Good night (1236) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.

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  (515): SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me. http://tfl.nu/71wb
  Replies (6) Good night (1168) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night

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  (601): I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night http://tfl.nu/iazm
  Replies (3) Good night (837) Bad night (391)

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