your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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