oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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