She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
