i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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