you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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