I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The ass gains better be worth it
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