A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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