i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
