Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
