dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
