She's JV to your varsity
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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