My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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