They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
