Where is the hickey?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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