the new term for farting is butt boxing.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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