its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
