Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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