I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
