we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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