He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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