She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
