FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
