I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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