So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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