my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Acid is not a monday night drug
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
When are your genitals available?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
