worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He passed out mid-signature
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
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it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
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A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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