No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
