You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
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