I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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