The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
