If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
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I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
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my poor anus
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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