no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
